Posts Tagged ‘humour’

You ever noticed how people who say they’ve got ‘an excellent sense of humour’ don’t?

Some people don’t have a sense of humour. It’s perfectly ok to fuck with those people.

Nothing in this world is scarier than people without a sense of humour.

The universe has a wicked sense of humour.

The universe is bitter, cruel and sarcastic — sadly, at the expense of most humans.

Life makes much more sense once you realise that the universe has a warped sense of humour and is trying to kill you for shits and giggles.

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Sarcasm Prayer

Posted: September 4, 2015 in graffiti living
Tags: , , ,

Life is a joke. Death is the punchline. Get over yourselves.

Please join me in my Sarcasm Prayer:

Grant me the sarcasm to the mock things I cannot change, the wit to change the things I can, and the cynicism to know the difference.

Would like to meet

Posted: September 3, 2015 in graffiti living
Tags: , ,

#FAQ: Who do you follow on Twitter? A: Friendly creative types, mostly writers, artists or journalists. Sarcasm preferred but not essential.

When someone says something stupid I assume they’re joking. When I joke they assume I’m stupid. And for sarcasm, that I’m criminally insane.

I love it when people make so many in-jokes that from the outside it sounds like gibberish.

It occurs to me now that my earliest exposure to sarcasm and dry humour was probably through The Magic Roundabout. This explains everything.

Would like to meet: smart, funny women who love sarcasm and have a thing for long-haired men with northern accents. I ask on behalf of a friend.

I’m done with sarcasm — it’s lollipops and rainbows from here on out.

It turns out that most self-proclaimed sarcastic twitter accounts are spambots.

James is a sad Panda.

I stand in solidarity with the people of Sarcasm.

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by hats of cynicism and gloves of disenchantment. Socks of sarcasm sold separately.

There’s nothing I want to say on social media that isn’t venomous sarcasm — I should probably take a vow of silence. Or write a book or something.

Ok, I take that back. There’s always time to be sarcastic. And if it annoys people who don’t appreciate sarcasm, then it’s time well spent.

I guarantee that all of my sarcasm is 100% original except for the repeated Bill Hicks references.

American: a person on whom sarcasm and self-awareness are both lost.

Great — another group of wingnuts for me to unintentionally annoy and enrage through sarcasm — except these ones are armed.

I used to think Americans don’t get sarcasm. I say Americans, I mean most humans. I say sarcasm, I mean my sense of humour.

Then I woke up in a strange parallel world where Americans love sarcasm and English people can’t take a joke — or Twitter as I like to call it.

I found people who are more sarcastic than me. IN AMERICA. At last the torch has been passed.

Their sarcasm has restored my faith in humanity — or at least reset it to its default factory settings.

As a subeditor I was told I’d picked up American grammar — which means that somewhere there’s an American riddled with sarcasm.

It’s official: on Twitter there are Americans who understand, use and appreciate sarcasm… You’re welcome.

I’ve decided to move to America — where my sarcasm’s appreciated.

I still worry that my sarcasm will get me shot at the airport as a suspected terrorist or something.

But the internet has permanently disavowed me of the notion that Americans don’t get sarcasm. I mean that in a good way.

Admittedly, every sarcastic American friend I have is a New Yorker, so that may have something to do with it.