Heavy on the Magick: Beware Self-Help

Posted: October 21, 2015 in graffiti living
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Writing, like any art, is a continuing process of discovering the infinite possibilities of Life. A blank piece of paper can be terrifying. It can also be exciting when ideas, images and sounds come together and sing off the page. For me there is no other experience like it. When I just touch the keyboard a part of me comes to life that at one time I did not know existed. — Hubert Selby Jr

Oh the little deaths that make up a life.

All the little compromises that we make that lead us into old age.

Getting up early in the morning included.

It’s six o clock in the fucking morning.

I’m naked and cold and would huddle under my blankets were it not for trying to write this.

Again my dream world was quick sealed off upon waking.

However it was definitely there and full.

It’s just the shutters came down as soon as I opened my eyes.

And now even with them closed I can’t get the images back.

It’s a strange little compromise but a compromise nonetheless.

Last night I confirmed that several of my friends are having a gathering that I’ve been invited to, a kind of alternative to Valentines Day.

I refer to Valentines Day as VD which perhaps tells you all you need to know about my feelings regarding the day.

Blurry-eyed staring at my hands, thinking about my first fix of tea.

These days I feel the body needs more than the needs of my mind.

Is this what we approach mid-age or younger but with the blinds drawn and the sky drawn quick across it?

Death is the reason we go on living — we run from it, we hide from it, we feel stalked and hunted by it.

You could say that it’s a klind of death to not remember your dreams upon waking — to forget them, to lose them, feels like a death to me.

I who have lived in dreams alll my life suddenly feel shut out in the cold.

I don’t like the way that real life smells and I distrust the noise and the light.

I’m not as grumpy as I make out to people I just want them to leave me alone.

And I’m not averse to certain theories like the law of attraction I’m just wary of the bullshit artists that espouse it whilst corporate-shilling.

Follow the money.

And to their ‘Hey, life is like a catalogue’ mentality, ‘Just pick out what you want and you can have it but if you think bad thoughts then that gives you cancer.’ Hey, wait a minute, I didn’t realise you were going to be so fucking scientific.

Besides which their book is so badly written that it makes me want to vomit so that I can choke on it.

It would taste better than the foul taste in my mouth from their words.

Not even that, from the taste of the sentiment and mentality behind those words.

Read between the lines and you really don’t like what you see in them.

Doesn’t mean that magick doesnt work, quite the opposite — it does work, that’s why you’ve got the bullshit artists lined up in front of it trying to turn it into a sideshow and telling you the truth dressed up in enough lies to render you impotent as an artist or magickian if you follow to the letter their advice, their way, buy their products.

No self-help guru ever got fat off of helping people.

You cut out a hole in them that needs to be filled then promise to fill it, just it takes time and money and many years of this and you fill it a little at a time, but each little seeps back out of them so that they are never filled, like a leaky bucket of wet sand as you run down the beach trying to make a castle.

Truth is magick is child’s play and you’ve always known how to do it.

And this focus on ‘what you want’ bullshit has truth but they forget to tell you to avoid being desirous of effect, and by having you dwell on it guarantee your dreams will remain unfulfilled.

So that you keep lining their pockets.

You’re suppsed to get it out of your head so that it can happen — once you’ve charged the sigil or otherwise got the messsage out there, you switch modes.

They would have you forever desiring, which is too much and gets in the way.

Send it out then move on.

That’s the best way.

Never has so little been sold to so many by so few for so much.

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