Write or the puppy gets it

Posted: February 1, 2015 in graffiti living
Tags: ,

I dreamt that I was a published novelist who donated the proceeds from his works to charities in appropriate and amusing ways.

For example, in one novel my main character killed kittens. So from every copy sold, I donated a percentage to animal shelters and catteries, saving kittens etc. Ditto the other books.

I also encouraged my readers to do charitable things in the name of the novels. For example, they gave blood and ran blood donors recruitment drives upon the launch of a vampire novel.

Each book benefited a different cause. They attended anti-vivisection and pro-vegetarian rallies for one book, and participated in sleep research for another, which was a book of dream-inspired short stories.

All the books were eco-friendly, carbon neutral, made from recycled paper and I planted trees for every book sold.

This would perhaps be a fun way to behave after getting published, but in the dream it back-fired. Readers demanded more books and threatened to do unspeakable things if I didn’t come up with the goods.

They kidnapped dogs and held them to ransom. One dog would be released after each novel was published. So long as I met their demands the dogs were fine. But after I while, I ended up with writers block.

Their ultimatum: “Write or the puppy gets it.”

So whenever I’m stuck I say, “Write or the puppy gets it.”

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