Twitter Quotes – Once Upon a Time in the North

Posted: June 14, 2010 in graffiti living
Tags: ,

Continuing the tweets whilst I get my work done. Deadlines are fun. As is sarcasm. Trust me on this one. Hope you had a great weekend!

2008-12-30 23:12:14
gaikokujin: Politicians don’t own language – WE DO. They’re just there to tend the garden. It’s our job to go into the woods and deal with the monsters.

2008-12-30 18:18:10
gaikokujin: Hold still. I can’t get a clear shot.

2008-12-26 00:16:23
gaikokujin: About once a year I can’t think of anything sarcastic to say. Please consider this a gift from me to you. Have a wonderful holiday everybody

2008-12-24 02:32:25
gaikokujin: Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

2008-12-23 17:00:52
gaikokujin: You know that something’s gone wrong in the world when it’s easier to buy crack on any street corner than to procure jam tarts for Christmas

2008-12-20 20:14:13
gaikokujin: Cannabis is going to be re-reclassified, as though it changed overnight by magick. Gordon Brown is clearly a wizard… disguised as a troll.

2008-12-19 21:23:15
gaikokujin: *twiddles thumbs* …*whistles* …Did you ever notice how Santa is an anagram of Satan? …*looks innocent* …What?! …I’m just SAYING 😛

2008-12-13 15:03:37
gaikokujin: I used to be an angry young man. These days, two out of three ain’t bad.

2008-12-12 00:01:10
gaikokujin: I’d love to come to the work xmas party, but I’ve a life outside of work and I’m not being paid to be there. Sorry, did I say that out loud?

2008-12-09 22:20:11
gaikokujin: If we want to do something about the threat of terrorism, we should start by not behaving like terrorists ourselves… Sorry, wrong meeting.

2008-12-08 09:17:44
gaikokujin: Why do anally retentive people assume that if you do something differently then you must be doing it wrong? The answer is in the question.

2008-12-06 00:19:39
gaikokujin: I don’t set out to offend people, and I don’t deliberately do things just to annoy them…that’s just an added bonus.

2008-11-30 19:14:04
gaikokujin: I gave up when I hit 30. As in nanowrimo, so in life.

2008-11-30 11:19:15
gaikokujin: I want to EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS! Or fish, that works for me too. Though there aren’t that many fish eating zombies I know of!

2008-11-29 11:42:22
gaikokujin: Send…more…paramedics…send…more…cops!

2008-11-24 13:36:27
gaikokujin: Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by hats of cynicism and gloves of disenchantment. Socks of sarcasm sold separately.

2008-11-23 09:26:38
gaikokujin: Today is one year to the day that I returned from Japan. So, I should commit suicide or eat sushi. It’s a tough call.

2008-11-22 01:55:44
gaikokujin: So, I urinated on a bank. Given the current economic climate, please consider that a deposit. And be glad I didn’t try to make a withdrawal!

2008-11-19 23:20:03
gaikokujin: Good. Evil. Fifteen Rounds. A Draw.

2008-11-19 23:19:38
gaikokujin: Hemingway told stories in six words.

2008-11-19 23:16:09
gaikokujin: When asked if I’d love to walk the corridors of high school once more, I said “Yes, with a shotgun.” This means I’ve got ‘unresolved issues’

2008-11-19 23:07:03
gaikokujin: When someone barged right into me, I said “I’m sorry, fuckwit.” This is what’s meant by the term ‘passive aggressive’

2008-11-19 01:06:31
gaikokujin: Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it’s just a ringtone.

2008-11-16 09:08:06
gaikokujin: A novel can be a poem just as a poem can tell a story. But they can only be both in equal measure at the same time if you’re Cormac bloody McCarthy

2008-11-13 22:07:34
gaikokujin: I still adhere to the sooty and sweep theory of politics: whichever puppet you prefer, they’ve all got the same person’s hand up their arse.

2008-11-13 21:57:16
gaikokujin: I still adhere to the sooty and sweep theory of politics: whichever puppet you prefer, they’ve all got the same person’s hand up their arse.

2008-11-10 14:45:29
gaikokujin: I’m getting lots of Japanese spam for no apparent reason. Pretty, but spooky. Soon I’ll be able to read it, understand, and be disappointed.

2008-11-10 14:42:34
gaikokujin: I’m not writing a novel, so much as having an abortion, but with spelling mistakes and bad grammar.

2008-11-10 14:41:39
gaikokujin: The world doesn’t care. The world must pay. Muahahahaha.

2008-11-10 14:41:04
gaikokujin: I decided to call my nanowrimo novel “Fuck You Inner Editor!” It’s a love story.

2008-10-27 18:03:59
gaikokujin: I wrote a letter to god. Which is unusual, for an atheist with writer’s block.

2008-09-26 20:46:02
gaikokujin: I’ve just sold one of my CDs to someone in Japan; how cool?! If I keep this up then all I’ve got to do is buy them back when I get there.

2008-09-26 20:43:36
gaikokujin: I should probably commit seppuku but ritual disembowelment is perhaps a little melodramatic given that I just haven’t gotten my own way yet.

2008-09-24 15:28:52
gaikokujin: The Devil’s alright, it’s his accountants, lawyers and admin you have to watch out for.

2008-09-23 16:55:18
gaikokujin: I’m probably going to hell; please excuse me whilst I pack.

2008-09-23 16:53:15
gaikokujin: Please repeat after me: Facebook is not a verb.

2008-09-23 16:51:53
gaikokujin: Welcome to sarcasm, please enjoy your stay.

2008-09-21 19:38:40
gaikokujin: Typing up old notebooks is a bit like injecting heroin into your eyeball – addictive, painful, and not very good for your eyes. Fun though!

2008-09-10 14:48:22
gaikokujin: Sending me Facebook pints of beer is like baiting an ex-hooker with internet porn even though she’s now a nun. Not the best idea you’ve had!

2008-08-10 11:25:15
gaikokujin: Be here now, love as if your whole life depended on it, find your life’s work, and try to get hold of a giant panda.

2008-07-19 10:22:23
gaikokujin: If you should ask me what is the greatest thing in the world, the answer would be: it is tea, it is tea, it is tea.

2008-07-07 20:16:37
gaikokujin: I have revised my opinions about Dentists. I no longer suspect that they are evil. I now KNOW THEY ARE EVIL!

2008-04-12 20:03:50
gaikokujin: I’ve just watched Richard Linklater’s ‘Waking Life’ and am in need of intelligent conversation. Super perfundo on the early eve of your day.


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