Stupid Library Questions

Posted: June 10, 2010 in graffiti living

When you ask a librarian a stupid question, they secretly long to punch you. Here are some of the genuine #stupidlibraryquestions that I’ve actually been asked in the line of duty. I tend to write them down whenever I get asked them, or as soon as I remember a bunch of them. I tried to get it going as a trending topic on twitter, but it seems that I’m the only person on twitter who is driven nuts by this sort of thing 😛

2009-12-15 22:21:47
gaikokujin: “Are you trying to be funny?”

2009-12-15 19:48:09
gaikokujin: “Why you griefing me?!”

2009-12-15 19:10:23
gaikokujin: “The book is out, so I’ve got to wait until another person has finished with it? Why isn’t it one book per student?”

2009-12-15 18:37:39
gaikokujin: “What, am I supposed to believe that my book is being ‘read by other people’?” #stupidlibraryquestions

2009-12-15 16:21:19
gaikokujin: “I’ve been told to read this book for my course. Is it any good?”

2009-12-15 16:18:18
gaikokujin: “I found someone’s card on the floor. Will you show me how to use it so that I can take stuff out?”

2009-12-15 16:15:20
gaikokujin: “I’m looking for another copy of this book – what’s it look like?”

2009-12-15 16:13:29
gaikokujin: “Is this the place you can take books from?”

2009-12-15 16:12:28
gaikokujin: *whilst I’m serving people at the counter* “Do you work here?”

2009-12-15 16:11:21
gaikokujin: *whilst standing in General Biology* “My maths textbook isn’t here. Why can’t I find it?” #stupidlibraryquestions

2009-12-15 16:09:21
gaikokujin: “I know you’re closed. But why can’t you just leave me here overnight?” #stupidlibraryquestions

2009-12-15 16:08:07
gaikokujin: “Why do you close?”

2009-12-15 15:59:48
gaikokujin: “Am I allowed to leave the library?”

2009-12-15 15:55:52
gaikokujin: “Can I ask you a question?”

2009-12-15 15:41:02
gaikokujin: “I’m looking for a book – it has a red cover. Where is it?”

2009-12-15 15:39:56
gaikokujin: “I’m looking for a book – I can’t remember the title, who it’s by, or what subject it is – can you help me find it?”

2009-12-15 15:35:28
gaikokujin: Me: “The subjects are in alphabetical order.” Student: “What’s that?” #stupidlibraryquestions

2010-01-17 19:48:33
gaikokujin: A real question asked by an angry customer to members of staff:
“Can you please stop being so FUCKING NOISY please?”

2010-01-17 19:46:38
gaikokujin: “How long does snow take to melt?”

2010-01-17 19:46:06
gaikokujin: “Is it snowing?”

2010-01-17 19:44:40
gaikokujin: “I don’t like the music the person sat next to me over there is listening to. Will you please go and shout at them?”

2010-01-17 19:43:00
gaikokujin: “I’m writing an essay. How much plagiarism do you think I can get away with?” #stupidlibraryquestions

2010-01-17 19:42:12
gaikokujin: “What are you? A fucking librarian?”

2010-01-17 19:41:53
gaikokujin: “Who died and said that you could work here?”

2010-01-17 19:41:23
gaikokujin: “The photocopier has run out of paper. What do I do?”

2010-01-17 19:40:45
gaikokujin: “I dropped this book in the bath. Do I need to replace it?”

2010-01-17 19:40:07
gaikokujin: “My wife has just died. Who do I need to call?”

2010-01-17 19:39:22
gaikokujin: “How long is the library?”
(Not to be confused with “How long is the library open?” which is actually quite sensible).

“Is it ok for me to leave my kids here?”
12:02 PM May 20th via Twitterrific
“I’ve just deleted my essay. I didn’t save it. How do I get it back?”
12:02 PM May 20th via Twitterrific
“My laptop is broken. Will you fix it for me?”
12:01 PM May 20th via Twitterrific
“Are we on the ground floor?”
11:55 AM May 20th via Twitterrific
“Can you help me?”
11:45 AM May 20th via Twitterrific

“You know, like, how you have books and shit, yeah?”
2:07 PM May 12th via Twitterrific

“How does things work?”
3:11 PM May 7th via Twitterrific

“What is the warmest part of the library?”
10:51 AM May 3rd via Twitterrific

My absolute favourite has to be, “If I can’t find a book, and it isn’t on any of the shelves, what does it MEAN?”

And last but not least, there’s the question I ask myself every day:


  1. Stacey says:

    OMG this is hysterical! Is this a college library? My favorite would have to be the plagarism question? So how much can you get away with?? 😉

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